Untitled/Unreleased Verse 1
This verse was written in 2016 and was intended to be the introduction to an album I was supposed to make with producer Shane Eli.
For years Shane and I were like brothers- and we fought like brothers too. I suspect that's why this album never materialized and why we've since lost touch. I still love him, but we just never seemed to find ourselves on the same page about anything.
Despite the album itself never being made, this verse has always held a special place in my heart because it's an exact bullseye on my mental state toward the end of my run as a music artist. I knew that chapter in my life was coming to a close, but I was terrified to let it go because I didn't know who or what I would be without it. These words came from the bottom of my soul in a fit of anxiety, trying to cling desperately to a dying dream.
Fuck it I'm drunk
And I'm stumbling, what?
So stuck in this rut
I'm fine being swept up under this rug
Yeah, why shouldn't you take
It upon yourself to say I should've been Drake
To my face and ask
Why couldn't I make
Anything out of it, guess it could've been fate
If there was only a simple
Way to explain, you don't know the mental
Strain or the pain that I go through its so
Hard not living to your full potential
But as cold as the wind blows
I know I'm ok, I was born with a skin so
Thick you're getting pulled into a row with a pitbull
Literally throwing stones at a broken window
And this is only the intro-
duction a fuckin hurricane that slowly begins to
Build underneath all the shit you shoveled
All you can do is pray he doesn't hold it against you
But your hope is abysmal
You're now officially home alone with a schizo
Playing hide and seek but I don't know where I hid you
I guess the chloroform on a folded up tissue
Was a little unnecessary and over the top
A bit too gregarious when I open up shop
Alert the cemetery, better hold you a plot
Cuz when I'm giving cesareans I don't know when to stop
Come one, come all won't you get in line next to
The sign that reads this is where you buy extra
Supplies you need
Cuz we're here to perform abortions of any rappers at any trimester
Post natal depression
Any label that signs them couldn't save or protect them
Rock the cradle til you shake them to death
It's barely making a dent in a wave of pretenders
Better catch your breath
We ain't going through the tunnel into madness yet
When the path is set and the tracks connect
My train of thought rumbles along the axis edge
Its an obsessive compulsion
Bouncing around my brain in perpetual motion
I can feel the static in my head and it jolts when
The server short circuits and electrical pulses
Start firing off, now the wires are crossed
The lawnmower man's back with the pliers and gauze
Tire irons and saws, flying higher than god
After hunting for chicks and tying one off with Cos-
by, a fuckin lion in soft
Sheep's clothing while deep throating you quietly nod
Into oblivion, silly how you deny that you want
The sweaty cock of celebrity deep inside of you all